


Pity party

by BlessedTarantula



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-16
Updated: 2013-03-16
Packaged: 2017-12-05 12:07:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/723124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlessedTarantula/pseuds/BlessedTarantula





	Pity party

Despite the efforts of the highbloods, and even Empress herself, Alternia was overthrown. Signless’ message had been of peace, of course, but he knew there would be war if they were to achieve peace. Outnumbered, surrounded and cornered, most of the higher castes, cerulean and above, had been slaughtered, minus those who had supported Signless, who had surrendered, and who were too injured to fight back. Empress had lasted mere seconds against the hordes of vicious, enraged lowbloods that she had caused to suffer.

Strict laws were put on the highbloods, not for revenge purposes, but to try and ensure that they would follow the new system. They could walk freely, and go about their business, but no harm was to come to any other troll without reason, the only excusable reason being self defence.

One highblood, though, had not been so lucky. He was not allowed to walk free, for he had been the main obstacle before Signless and his followers. The Grand Highblood’s capture had won them the rebellion. And they still had him, in captivity. He hadn’t seen the moons in a while now, locked away underground, only accessible from one heavily guarded entrance, some of the strongest psionic users stood guard, and nobody who had attempted to free The Grand Highblood had survived.

There had been debates over executing The Grand Highblood, who, when pushed to answer, told the rebellion his name was Fenrir. The idea of execution was quickly forgotten, it was difficult enough to kill a regular indigoblood, but it would be far too risky to try and kill Fenrir. He was, by far the strongest troll they had encountered. He had escaped countless restraints, the only thing that seemed to hold him was a heavy, steel collar and chain, that was anchored into the ground and wall.

He lived, chained in a cell, the bars thick and unbreakable, the locks almost unreachable and near indestructible. Despite being there for so long, he hadn’t lost any of his strength, nor had he lost his will to escape. Anyone who wandered too close to the bars were quickly slaughtered. The chains were meant to be shortened so he couldn’t reach the bars, but that failed, resulting in the deaths of seven trolls, and five suffered horrific injuries.

His food was set on a tray, and pushed through the bars with a steel pole, which he left alone once he realised that yanking the pole would not reward him with a troll to viciously murder. He ate everything given to him, which, despite his past acts, was never meagre amounts, he was fed well.

The sun had set, the psionic users that guarded the entrance wandered back out to scan the area before the other trolls woke, making sure there were no unauthorised presences. 

Fenrir lay in the cell he had learned to call home, staring at the bars of his cell. He knew that when the psionic users started moving around, he’d get fed not long after. Lying on the ground was no longer uncomfortable for him, he had long since grown accustomed to it. Once his food was pushed through the bars of his prison, he stood, walking over and picking it up. He returned to the centre of the cell, facing away from the bars as he started eating. It wasn’t anything special, bland featherbeast broth, bread and water, but he never complained about it. He had, after all, devoured plenty of trolls in his lifetime, most raw, most alive.

He was above average height for a troll, not including horns, standing a good seven and a half to eight feet, which only added to how intimidating he was. Once he finished, he pushed the tray and such back out to the trolls, who took the tray, though nervously, since he’d pushed it closer to the bars than usual. The redblood reached over, taking hold of the tray. He tried retracting his arm, but Fenrir had already dragged him through the bars and into the cell. Despite his cries, nobody came to help him. Once Fenrir had a hold of someone, there was no hope for them.

This time it was different, he didn’t mercilessly slaughter the redblood. Once he was pulled into the cell, his grip wasn’t even that tight on him. This reblood in particular, who he had nicknamed Grelit, since he had no clue as to what his name was, usually fed him and took his tray. Sometimes even sat and talked to him for a few minutes before he had to go and attend to other matters. It was pretty much the only interaction he had, and it stopped him going mad.

He sat, back against the wall, facing the bars, Grelit held firmly, but not tightly, against him. He was silent for a moment, before he closed his eyes, a soft, but rough, purr rumbling from his chest. Grelit tensed up, refusing to relax even a little. Fenrir knew he was afraid, and there was little to be done about it, but he just needed...something. He had killed every troll he’d made any sort of physical contact with this past sweep, and as much as he enjoyed the bloodshed, he needed something different. He wouldn’t admit it out loud but he needed some kind of affection.

After a while, Grelit not having relaxed in the least, he decided that he may as well let him go. He got what he needed, kind of. He let go of the redblood, letting him scamper out of the cell. The other trolls that were tasked with caring for the indigoblood were amazed. Nobody had survived any physical contact with Fenrir while he’d been caged.

Fenrir lay down again, curling up like a barkbeast, closing his eyes. He wasn’t tired, but he had nothing else to do. He didn’t paint, it’d make him miss his throne room, and then he’d be worse off. He didn’t understand why the lowbloods hadn’t killed him yet; they made such a drama over how they couldn’t kill him, it was too risky, had they ever considered maybe he wanted to die?

Put a bullet through his head and he would die. Granted, he may still have time to eat you alive before his brain registered he was deceased, but regardless, he would die in the end. Yet they refused to. Most likely because he was now a historic monument. But he rarely, if ever, complained. He knew exactly why he was here, when other indigobloods were allowed to walk free.

Because this is how he kept other trolls. He would keep lowbloods locked up, force them to kill and eat each other for fun and sport. He deserved this, and he knew it.

He was drifting off to sleep, until he heard the locks open. He hadn’t heard that sound in half a sweep. He narrowed his eyes, lip raised into a snarl as he stood. He raised his hand to swipe at who had entered his cell, until he realised who it was.

Signless stood before him, two psionic guards either side of him. Even if he did lash out, the psionic users would stop him with ease. So he just sat, facing away from the mutantblooded scum who had sentenced him to this lifetimes of misery. He barely reacted to the hand Signless places on his shoulder, ignoring the other completely.

“Fenrir, I wish to talk to you.” Signless’ voice was quiet, calm and collected, despite being this close to the troll that had caused the deaths of hundreds upon hundreds of trolls, a good few mutants as well. 

“Leave me alone.” Fenrir snarled, hearing the crackle of the psionics behind him. He knew they would be on high alert, but that was ridiculous. “I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Well, I’m afraid we need to talk and I will not be leaving until we do so.”

With a growl, Fenrir turned, facing the other, hands resting on his knees as he glared. Signless' hood was down, displaying the bright red eyes, that caused Fenrir’s stomach to churn. He was disgusting, and he was right in front of him, but he couldn’t attack. That enough made him wish someone would put a bullet through his head and be done with it.

“Hurry up, mutant, just the sight of you is making me sick.” When the guards got antsy again, Signless calmed them, letting them know he did not feel threatened.

“I can imagine that you are less than happy with me, seeing as I chose this fate for you instead of death, and after this long, I would probably be wishing for the release of death, but we would rather not kill you, despite your deeds before we captured you, and even the murders while being here.”

“Then you’re all fools. As soon as I get free, and you all know fine motherfucking well I will, I will slaughter every single one of you. The only reason your psionics can even touch me is because my chucklevoodoos are rusty; as soon as I put those back into practise you’ll all be deader than my brothers.”

“Some of them live on, Fenrir.”

“And those motherfuckers make me sick.”

Signless was silent, looking at the other, thinking for a moment. Fenrir grunted, then turned away again.

“Fenrir-“

“We spoke. Now fuck off, before I coax out my chucklevoodoos now and kill you, just as horribly as I did the others.”

“But you did not harm the redblood. You dragged him into your cell, normally when that happens, the unlucky troll you have in your grasp is slaughtered in unimaginable ways; you spared him. Was there a reason for that?”

“No.”

“There was. He spoke to you, he spoke to you every night, a few times a night, and he didn’t speak to you like a prisoner, did he? No, he did try speaking to you like a friend. And you began speaking to him like he was your friend, as well. I have visited, though I have kept out of sight, not wanting to trigger any enraged actions from you, but you sparing him has given me faith, that you-“

“Shut up. I don’t want to her your self-righteous bullshit. I won’t be leaving this place without murdering, no matter what I listen to you say, so I’m not interested. I didn’t kill him because I’m not an idiot. I would go batshit motherfucking insane if he didn’t speak to me. As much easier as it would be to rot here if I lost it completely, I would rather keep what shred of myself that I have. Now leave me alone.”

Signless sighed, but swiftly left. The psionic guards turned to leave as well. One left, but the other was dragged back into the cell, thrown roughly against the wall of the cell, and the copious amounts of anger that had built while Signless had been present was taken out on them.

But he did hold back. No truly major damage was done, some deep gashes, yes, but not in vital areas. They were well enough to flee and seek medical attention. Fenrir watched as he left. The redblood came back, but instead of sliding the food in, he came into the cell. He set the tray down in front of Fenrir, smiled, then abruptly left.

The next day, Fenrir discovered that the reblood had been murdered.

Death never moved Fenrir. He never gave a shit about anyone who died. Except for now. As soon as he was told, he threw himself at the cell bars, managing to latch onto the brownblood’s clothing, yanking them against the bars, but not through. For once anger didn’t fill his eyes. Instead, he looked lost, distraught.

Fenrir. The Grand Highblood, had discovered first-hand the emotional pain he caused countless of others. The brownblood panicked for a few moments, before he realised that Fenrir hadn’t taken hold of him due to anger or bloodlust.

He was released a few moments later. Fenrir slunk back into the cell, tucking himself against the corner, curling up, forcing himself to keep quiet. He sobbed, but he was nearly silent, refusing to let anyone see him cry. They had seen him without facepaint, see how scarred his face was, but he refused to let them see him cry.

He woke a few hours later, growling when he realised he’d fallen asleep. But as soon as he shook away his grogginess, he was hit with another wave of sadness. He curled back up again, but didn’t cry. No, he just lay there, staring at the far wall.

Not long after, the cell was opened again. He looked over, not bothering to stand. Signless again, this time, with no guards. He must be confident, and the thought that Signless had ordered Grelit’s death to teach him a lesson flashed through his thinkpan, but he discarded the thought.

“Go away.” Fenrir growled, glaring up at him. “I don’t want to deal with your shit today, motherfucker.”

“I heard about what happened.” Signless sat, a few feet away from Fenrir. “He misread the intentions of a blueblood and lashed out-“

“Shut up.”

“I need to speak to you-“

“I said shut up motherfucker!” Fenrir leapt up, throwing and pinning Signless to the ground, fangs bared and eyes narrowed. “I don’t want to deal with you, and your shit, so leave me alone, because next time, I will tear out your motherfucking throat and I will take the beating I receive with a smile on my face.”

Signless raised a hand, resting it against Fenrir’s cheek. He offered him a small smile, he was scared, but he didn’t appear to be.

“I know that losing him was hard Fenrir, he was your friend. But you need to listen to me, I don’t want you to remain here in this cell.”

“I don’t care about what you want. I never have and I never will. Quit trying to push your pale pity onto me; I don’t want it.” He let the other up, watching him, expecting him to leave. But he didn’t. As soon as Fenrir sat down, Signless stood, stepping closer, holding a hand out to him.

“I know, I know that I am a mutant, and that you hate me for that mere fact, something I could never change or help. But please, I just want to be able to free you. This is not the life for any troll to lead, regardless of what happened in the past.”

“Just leave me alone.” His voice was quiet, quieter than usual, and shaky. “I just want to be left alone.”

“I will give you some space, but I will come back soon.” After that, he left. Fenrir watched him leave, and as soon as he was out of sight, he regretted making him leave. Now he felt...alone. More alone than usual. 

The yellowblood that pushed his food through didn’t speak to him. Simply pushed the food through, then left, returning a while later to retrieve the tray. But it was clear he was hesitant to take it. Fenrir sat, right next to the bars, watching him. Daring him to take it.

“You going to take it or what motherfucker?” He asked, raising an eyebrow as he did. The other troll gulped, stepping forward slowly. He was in range, and he knew it. He leaned down to pick it up, stepping back as soon as he had it. Fenrir hadn’t made a grab at him. He scampered away, clearly terrified, as the caged troll chuckled. 

He remained sat by the bars, head rested against them as he slept. He hadn’t been able to fit in a recuparacoon for sweeps, sleeping outside of one was hardly a challenge anymore. He stayed by the bars for a while, only waking when food was nudged against his hand. He knew it wasn’t time for him to be fed, because the food wasn’t on a tray. He looked down at what he was being given, then took it.

After discovering it was an iced bun, he looked up, seeing Signless stood there, a smile on his face.

“I found out that you have been living on bland food for a while, and decided that buying you something sweet for a change may help you feel a little better.”

Fenrir tore the iced bun in half, offering the other half to Signless as he ate his own. When Signless denied it, he shrugged, devouring the other half as well. He wouldn’t lie, the sweet taste was a godsend, and he was upset when there was no more, but he didn’t say anything. He just shifted back so Signless could enter the cell.

He did so. Fenrir sat, leaning against the wall, watching as the mutant sat a few feet in front of him.

“If you need to talk, hurry up and do it motherfucker. I get impatient fast.”

“I’m aware.” Signless chuckled. “I came here because I want you to be free of this cell. You have elbow room, and enough space to stretch your legs, sure, but those chains are starting to look cumbersome. They can’t be comfortable, either, and the psionics are going about finding a way to shorten them so you can hardly take a step away from the back wall.”

“They are?” Fenrir frowned. “I stop murdering the bastards and they try to restrict my movements more. I should stick to my plan of slaughtering them all.”

“No, listen to me, you are doing the right thing. Do not hurt them Fenrir, and they will notice. They have noticed. I am in here, with no guards, because I have a feeling you will not hurt me; in fact, I trust you not to hurt me. I may end up being the biggest fool on Alternia for doing so, but you need to be trusted, and you need some companionship.”

“That may be true, but they wouldn’t let me go. Even if they did, I would be avoided, by even the indigobloods that were once loyal to me. I’d be no better off out there than I am in here, so it makes no difference as to where I end up.”

“I do not believe that is true, Fenrir. Yes you will be feared for a while, but when you prove that there is more to you than the murderous troll your title forced you to be, then you will begin to make friends and form bonds.”

“I won’t. I can’t. Simply because I don’t know how. Grelit talked to me because he pitied me, felt like some dumbass had to talk to me because no fucker else would. He hardly gave a crap other than that, I know that. I don’t know how to form a bond that works both ways, motherfucker, because I was never taught how.”

“Grelit? Oh, the redblood? Is that what you call him? His name was Turick.” Signless offered him a smile. “I hope you at least consider leaving this cell, Fenrir, I don’t like the thought of you being cooped up. And you are miserable, even before Turick’s death you were miserable. I know how loss feels, I lost my Disciple in the war.”

Fenrir’s brow furrowed. Usually, he didn’t give a shit about death, it never moved him. But now he knew what loss felt like, he could feel a pang of sympathy for the mutant. Maybe even a slight twinge of pity.

“...I...I’m sorry, for your loss. I know what she means to you. “ He knew that they would have had a stronger bond that what he’d felt for Turick, and that the loss of her would have hurt a lot more than what he had felt. He hadn’t been responsible for the death of Disciple, though.

The troll who had murdered her had swiftly been cut down.

“It is not your fault.” Signless smiled again, but his voice betrayed him, and tears welled up in his eyes. “I apologise...” he wiped his eyes, trying not to cry.

It had been a sweep...and Signless was still crying. When the mutant couldn’t control his tears, Fenrir shifted closer, then pulled Signless toward him. He sat the smaller troll in his lap arms around him, but loosely, trying to comfort him. He purred softly, rough and broken like before, in an attempt to help the other calm down.

Signless did calm down eventually, face buried in Fenrir’s shoulder, practically clinging onto him. Once he was calm enough to stop crying, he pulled away, looking up at Fenrir.

“...Thank you...” He smiled. Fenrir smiled back.

“No need to thank me, brother.” He hugged him closer, Signless doing the same. No doubt about it; he was pale for the mutant now. Sly bastard. 

They stayed like that for a while, Signless relaxed and happy sat in Fenrir’s lap. They talked to each other, laughed, joked around, and slowly but surely Fenrir was learning. He was learning about Signless’ perfect world, his views, and Signless learned why Fenrir had been the way he was.

“I was always taught pity was mercy killing, just, putting someone out of their misery. I was taught that nobody would motherfucking love me unless I was strong and ruthless and proved I deserved my title. Told that if I was dangerous I was safe. I was schoolfed bullshit, brother.”

“I see...” Signless frowned. “Hopefully, I can teach you how it really feels.”

“Already did.” Fenrir muttered, hugging him a little closer to his chest, nuzzling the top of his head affectionately. “I’m...glad, you came to see me again, and that you didn’t give up.”

“I wouldn’t give up on you, I knew you needed a friend.”

They were both silent for a while, until Fenrir started purring again. It was much smoother this time, now more accustomed to purring. Signless purred back softly in response, pressing his nose to Fenrir’s neck. Fenrir nuzzled him with his cheek, smiling again.

“Hey, Signless?”

“You can call me Harkin, if you like. And yes?”

“Okay...Harkin. I’ll sound pretty motherfucking stupid but I honestly I’ve already grown...pale for you.”

“As I have grown pale for you.” There was silence for a few more moments, before both trolls cuddled closer to each other. They had both needed a moirail, and for a long time at that. Fenrir ignored his food for a while, but Signless ended up having to leave. He promised to return the next night, though.

Fenrir waited eagerly, sat against the bars again, his mood had improved considerably, and the brownblood he had grabbed beforehand sat with him while they both ate, chatting for a while. Signless was right, being free from the cell would be a lot better than being stuck inside.

When Signless came back, he stood, moving so the door could be opened. He leaned down, butting his head against Signless’ gently in an affectionate gesture. They talked for a while again, before a few psionic users stepped into the cell.

“Fenrir, sit down, cross legged with your arms out in front of you.” One of them spoke, psionics sparking around his hands. Fenrir growled a little, but did as he was told regardless. He frowned when the shackles were removed. He had to lean forward a little so the collar could be removed. Once he was free, and the psionic users left, and Signless smiled wide, kissing Fenrir’s forehead. 

“I asked them to unshackle you. Though, you will have to stay in here for one more night and day. Once that’s over though you can either stay here or you can leave; your hive, I’m afraid to say, is in terrible condition, as you know it was vandalised. You can return there if you wish, or you can come and live with me and Mother Rosa. She does want to meet you first, and she can come later tonight.”

“I’m already here, dear.” Dolorosa smiled softly as she entered the cell, clearly nervous around the larger troll. She had been in her mid teens when she had found Signless, and she had aged well, to say in the least. 

Fenrir smiled when he saw her, greeting her with the same warmth as Signless, of course, minus the pale affection. They stayed in the cell for a good few hours, talking about their lives. And how much Dolorosa wanted to brush out Fenrir’s hair.

The time came and they had to leave. Fenrir nuzzled Signless before he left, then slept against the bars again. He was woken gently by a brownblood. Though not the one he was used to. He frowned when he saw Summoner. He let out a grunt, sitting up, but made no move to grab him. In the past, he would be more than willing to kill him, but things were different.

“What do you want shi-...Summoner?”

“Came to see how you were doing. I hit you pretty hard, you know...”

“I know. I was the one that passed out and dealt with the motherfucking bruises.”

“Heard you were getting let out soon, you better behave mind.” Summoner chuckled.

Fenrir rolled his eyes, but smiled. They sat and talked for a few minutes, before Harkin arrived. Summoner bid his goodbyes, then turned, walking off. His wings hadn’t grown back. Fenrir’s gut sank when he realised that.

Harkin smiled wide, the cell door swinging open. He was free to go.

Fenrir was obviously cautious as he stepped out of the cell, following Harkin out of the tunnel. Once he felt the moonlight on his skin, he relaxed again, eyes closing for a few moments.

“I’ve missed the moonlight...”

A few days and nights later, Fenrir sat against the wall of his, Rosa’s and Harkin’s hive, with Harkin leaning against him, smiling as he slept. Fenrir looked up as Rosa approached, smiling wide and lazily, clearly tired.

“You having trouble sleeping again?” She asked him, kissing his forehead. He nodded a little.

“Yeah. Had one of those nightmares again. You know, the one where you and Harkin...”

She nodded, understanding what he meant. She ran her fingers through his now tamed hair, though it still looked messy. He tilted his head a little, purring softly, eyes closing.

She continued to stroke his hair until he began to drift off to sleep. She pressed a soft kiss to his lips, causing him to smile sleepily.

“I love you, Fenrir.”

“I love you too, Rosa.”


End file.
